#TeamSerendipity
Music and Words
7) Fifty Ways to Kill My Lover's Lover [Charlotte]
LYRICS:
Dedicated to anyone with a dark sense of humour - you know who you are!
FIFTY WAYS TO KILL
MY LOVER’S LOVER
Charlotte: What am I gonna do to fix the issues in my life?
my world has started spiralling,
and it's all down to his wife.
I've accepted her as best I can,
I've stayed hidden out of sight,
but she has taken my place, like it's her bloody right!
Well...I'll fix her!
I could shoot her in the head,
I could stab her in the back,
I could wrap my hand around her throat
and hope I've got the knack.
I could push her down some stairs,
off a cliff, out a plane,
or inject some liquid nitrogen
and watch it freeze her brain.
New methods to discover, will I stay undercover?
With my fifty ways to kill my lover's lover!
That kiss, it was the start of something stirring in my heart,
a touch, a glance, a twirl, a dance,
she played my...my stupid part!
He took me when my heart was pure,
the untouched innocence still true,
I thought my heart was his to keep,
until I found out about you!
Well, damn it, I'm not giving up without a fight!
I could fill her tea with drugs, put explosives in a cake,
go full fairy tale and push her in an oven so she'll bake.
I could boil her in a hot tub, or nail her to a tree,
I could lock her in an airtight box and throw her out to sea.
So much more to discover, will I stay undercover?
With my fifty ways to kill my lover's lover!
I could stretch her on a rack,
I could pull her limb from limb,
I could hang, draw and quarter, go medieval on a whim.
Stop her breathing with a pillow,
jam her sunbed shut, ha please!
Spray her jogging clothes with pheromones
and wait for killer bees.
I'll force feed her with foie gras,
make her kiss a moving train,
slit her throat with my stiletto
watch the blood drain from her…
*screams with frustration*
Leila: Mummy? What's for dinner?
Charlotte: Revenge! *cough*
...served with fish fingers and chips, sweetie.
I can't risk what I have got,
who would make my girl her tea?
With all of this at stake I will have to let things be.
I won't push her down some stairs,
or off a cliff, or out a plane.
Look at me I've lost the plot and really, truly gone insane.
So much more to discover, so I'll stay undercover,
no more fifty ways to kill my lover's lover!